Yesterday's Sins Read online

  Why would he liquidate his share in the conglomerate? Why choose the small village where she'd made her home?

  "He's moved to New Zealand?" she asked struggling to make sense of it all.

  "That's the way I read it." Dave hesitated, adding with rough concern, "Would you prefer me to show him around The Birches and have all dealings with him?"

  "And let him think I'm running scared? I'll cope."

  Dave stood up, nodding grimly. "If he starts putting too much pressure on you, let me know. Client or not, you come first."

  "I will." Kate gave him a grateful smile.

  She updated files and bookwork while she waited for Alex to keep his appointment. She was giving Coralie instructions on typing up a sales agreement when the outer office door opened.

  She looked up and shock ripped open her heart.

  The blood drained from her head and settled somewhere in her toes.

  Alex walked through the doorway holding the hand of a young girl with honey blonde hair, eyes of the same deep grey as his.

  Sarah?

  This smiling child could only be Sarah.

  Kate's agonized glance took in the child and the man holding her hand, blood pounding in her temples.

  How could he? How could he do this to her?

  Kate went into her office, picked up her bag and keys, intent only on escape before she did something she'd regret. As she returned, Dave walked through to reception.

  Alex gave her a measured smile. "Good morning, Kate. Sarah and I are here for our appointment."

  The sound of his voice freed her frozen vocal cords.

  "You unutterable bastard," she said, her voice low and vicious. "I hope you rot in hell. If you want to look at any bloody houses go by yourself."

  "Kate. Have you gone crazy?" Dave's horrified glance swung between her and Alex.

  Alex took a step towards her, his expression savage.

  Without hesitation, Kate picked up the vase of flowers off the receptionist's desk and hurled them at his head.

  In a detached part of her mind, she saw flowers and water splatter his grey suit and heard Sarah's frightened cry as she fled. Kate leaped into her car, fired the engine and drove off, tires screaming.

  She was shaking so badly, she should not be driving, but the need to put distance between her and the office, took precedence. When she reached the picnic area by Tourist Bridge, she pulled over. Once parked, she leaned her arms on the steering wheel, and buried her face in her arms in abject despair.

  How could Alex do that to me?

  A car whizzed past. She didn't want to see or talk to anyone. She alighted, locked the car and walked along the riverbank.

  Hidden by the branches of the big weeping willow, she slumped on the grass, tears rolling down her cheeks and succumbed to grief.

  The storm of tears spent, she hugged her upraised knees, resting her chin on them and stared into the dark, turbulent water, eyes gritty.

  It was years since she'd cried.

  Years since I've cared enough to cry, about anything. If I didn't let myself care, I wouldn't hurt.

  And that was a very sobering admission.

  She knew she should return to the office, but wasn't ready to face anyone after that shaming outburst. And she could just imagine the spin Coralie Spence would put on that scene, or her relish in retelling it, and in the process help it grow legs.

  Their receptionist loved to gossip.

  It was enough to make Kate want to disappear, permanently. But in that moment she made a decision. She was done with running. Dave would be so angry. She grimaced. Her feelings aside, Alex was a valuable client.

  The soft purr of an engine, the closing of a car door, the measured footsteps crossing the gravel to where she sat, made her heart thud in panic.

  Kate kept her eyes on the river, refusing to even glance up to see who was intruding on her solitude? Alex?

  He hunkered down near her and she stole a glance and her breath escaped in a small, surprised gasp. Gregori Nicolaides. The aroma of coffee teased her nostrils and aroused painful memories.

  "Have a coffee, Kate." He proffered a polystyrene mug of coffee he'd poured from a thermos.

  She looked at him, lips curled in a sneer. "And where will I wake up afterwards? Alcatraz? You must think I'm stupid."

  Discomfort flashed across his face. "I guess I deserve that."

  "You think?"

  He grimaced and sipped the coffee himself. An uneasy silence settled. What did he want with her?

  "Did Alex send you?"

  "No," He looked at her, his dark gaze steady. "Twice in my life, Kate, I've done something I've lived to regret. The first when I gave you that coffee."

  "How nice that you can feel remorse," she marvelled softly. "You have a conscience? Imagine that. Do tell, what's the second thing you regret? Tracing me here?"

  "No, my second mistake was giving you the money to leave the hospital in Brisbane."

  That brought her skewing around in surprise. "What do you mean?"

  Gregori poured another coffee and gave it to her.

  She took this one and sipped, the warming brew helped thaw the aching chill inside her.

  "I was as devastated as Alex when Marcos was killed, a wanton waste of a promising young life." He sighed heavily. "Your cousin wasn't completely at fault. Marcos was trying out a new skateboard and shot out onto the road, under the wheels of the car. There was no way she could have avoided hitting him."

  "Why are you telling me this?" Kate wanted to shut her ears and run away.

  I thought I was done with running?

  "It's more than time you knew. What upset everyone was her failure to stop."

  "I would never have walked away from an accident, regardless of the consequences." Kate clenched her hands tightly to stop them trembling.

  "I know that now." He extended a hand and covered her cold one. "Apologizing isn't much use is it? Nor is telling you how much I've regretted my part in it, ever since. But I am sorry. That's why I gave you money. I wanted to give you the choice. You could stay, or you were free to leave. I felt strongly that you needed a real choice and space to grieve."

  "I couldn't leave fast enough."

  "And you've never stopped running. And that was a mistake. It deprived you and Alex of the chance to salvage your relationship."

  "Relationship?" Her voice rose to an undignified screech. "There was nothing to be salvaged."

  "Wasn't there?" he asked quietly. "Look into your heart, Kate. And I think you'll find you're wrong."

  I don't need to look too deeply but no way will I admit that.

  "Alex was shattered when the police uncovered the truth behind that accident."

  "My heart bleeds."

  "Alex's heart has never stopped bleeding."

  Kate wished she could shut out Gregori's quiet words.

  "He's a hard man, but he's hardest on himself. He holds himself to very high standards. He knows he's wronged you, in a way that's hurt you badly, a wrong that can never be adequately redressed."

  "No-one has the power to undo the past." Kate's words were muffled as she buried her face on her upraised knees. "Not only was I pregnant with Sarah, Alex caused the death of my father and twin."

  "Kate, he was not responsible for their deaths. Fraser should never have been driving."

  She ignored what she didn't want to hear. To her mind, Alex's was the sole responsibility; he'd set the chain in motion.

  "Alex is a man like any other. He can be hard but he's always fair. He's devoted to those he loves." Gregori broke the silence. "He's been mother and father to Sarah."

  "That was what he intended all along."

  "Perhaps in the very beginning that was his intention. But it certainly wasn't by the end of your pregnancy. He's firmly committed to the principle of every child needing two parents. When you left—"

  "He was so relieved to be freed of a troublesome problem?"

  "No. Crushed would best describe Al
ex."

  She stared at him, shaking her head in disbelief. The very idea of Alex being crushed was ludicrous. No man exuded the essence of control over his destiny more than he did.

  "Kate, listen." He put his hands on her shoulders and made her meet his eyes. "Knowing you changed Alex. He knew he'd treated you abominably, but he was grief stricken at losing Marcos."

  "You don't think I knew that?" She sighed, the deep, shuddering sound torn from her.

  Gregori sighed, dropped his hands, and turned away from her picking up a stick and snapping it between lean strong fingers. "I can imagine."

  "Can you?" Kate laughed a sound devoid of amusement. "How can any man imagine how a woman feels when she's so utterly in a man's power?"

  "Was it all bad?"

  She took a ragged breath at the quiet question and then dropped her face onto the arms looped around her knees.

  How could she answer?

  Of course it wasn't all bad.

  At times it had been so wonderful she still mourned the loss of the closeness she'd shared with Alex. But nothing could ever erase the knowledge she'd never been given a choice.

  "Alex grew to care about you, too much. Even before he discovered he'd wronged you so badly. But he's a proud man and when you scorned every attempt at reparation, he wouldn't beg."

  For several minutes neither spoke, the gurgle of the river, the song of a skylark were the only sounds to impinge on the silence.

  Gregori gave her a sober glance. "Alex went to see your father when Jessica was arrested for the hit and run."

  Kate stared at Gregori in disbelief. "Dad knew then? That Alex had kidnapped me?"

  "He did. Fraser was furious and if you'd wanted, would have pressed criminal charges." Gregori snapped the twig he held, the sound loud in the strained atmosphere. "That's why he wanted to visit with you."

  "I couldn't bear it." The admission tumbled out. "All my life, Dad came down hard on me, much harder than Chris. It was because he didn't believe me that I went to see Alex."

  "If he didn't believe you then, you wouldn't see him when he wanted to visit?"

  Kate nodded, glancing at Gregori. "Something like that."

  "I wondered."

  And not only did I tell him I didn't want to see him, I told him I never wanted to see him again. And then both Daddy and Chris were dead.

  "And you've had to live with that ever since." Gregori laid a hand over hers.

  She nodded, fresh tears welling in her eyes. "My mother always told me to be careful what I wished for."

  "Kate, there's no way you wished your father dead. How can you think that?" He caught her hand to emphasize his words. "Alex, too, was devastated when your brother and father were killed. He'd gone over your head and arranged a family conference to help you decide what would be best for you, and your baby. He told your father he would abide by whatever decision you made."

  "He consulted my father? Over me? Asked my family to come? Why would Alex do that?"

  "He was desperately worried about you, Kate. You were in a very fragile emotional state. He was frightened, that because of him, you were going to have a nervous breakdown."

  The memory of those awful months after Sarah's birth had Kate burying her face in her upraised knees. "I did," she muttered under her breath. "Later."

  "Pardon?"

  Kate shook her head, not about to repeat the words. "Only they never came."

  "No. They never came, and Alex had to tell you they were dead. He knew you'd blame him for their accident, and you have. When you went into premature labour and Sarah nearly died, his burden of guilt became intolerable."

  "Why did he never tell me?"

  "Would you have believed him?"

  "Probably not."

  "After you left, Alex seldom left Sarah's side. I think it would have killed him if anything had happened to that child. He feels responsible for you deserting your daughter."

  "He was." She buried her face on her upraised knees in confusion. Guilt and remorse, love and grief, hatred and anger made an awful mix of emotions.

  Yesterday she'd considered her life under total control.

  Today that pretence was shattered.

  "Now, he's discovered you're the super-efficient realtor, Kate Audley," Gregori shook his head. "You've dealt Alex another body blow."

  "I have?" She lifted her head and stared at him in disbelief.

  "Yes you have." Gregori crossed his arms across his chest. "Hell. Have you looked in the mirror lately? You're thin to the point of emaciation. You've cut that glorious hair and dyed it black. Why?"

  Kate swallowed. Her throat worked as she tried to ease a lump lodged there.

  "Did you somehow learn Alex was about to cross your path? Haven't you punished him enough? How much do you think he can stand, he's only human?"

  Kate leaped to her feet, unable to stand listening to any more.

  In one smooth movement Gregori was on his feet, his hand around her wrist, preventing her flight.

  "It's time you stopped and thought about it. If your appearance has nothing to do with Alex, who are you punishing? Alex? Sarah? Or yourself?"

  "That's not your business." She yanked her wrist free, his harsh words puncturing every defence she'd built. "Don't load your guilt onto me."

  "You're bloody impossible to reason with." Gregori strode over to his car and stood with his hand on the door looking at her across the top of the car. "You keep wallowing in self-pity. Why should we care anymore?"

  Kate stood motionless long after he drove away, his accusation ringing in her ears.

  You know he's right. It's time I stopped running.

  Nothing could change the past. And her outburst of temper had done more to put her new life at risk than Alex's actions.

  With quiet determination, she repaired the ravages of her tears before returning to the office. On a bracing indrawn breath, she approached reception. "Any messages, Coralie?"

  "No." The receptionist lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Dave wants to see you as soon as you return. Boy is he livid. What sent you off your rocker? I can't understand you doing something so dreadful."

  No Coralie, you would never understand—but Alex knew.

  Too aware of the heat flooding her face and neck, Kate ignored Coralie and rapped on Dave's door, entering at his summons.

  "Ms. Audley. Come in, shut the door and take a seat. I am so pleased you've condescended to return."

  Kate winced. That she was reduced to Ms. Audley didn't bode at all well for her chances of remaining employed. It was a measure of Dave's anger. There had never been any formality in this office.

  "I presume there is an explanation for that extraordinary display of temper you indulged in this morning?"

  She winced, knowing she deserved every scathing word. "Alex wasn't amused?"

  "Good lord. Did you expect him to be? That vase almost hit his daughter. What came over you? The man was only keeping an appointment."

  "No, Dave." She lifted a hand then let it fall. "That appointment was Alex's last consideration when he came here this morning."

  Dave watched her from beneath beetling brows, his light blue eyes shrewd, but hard. "You'd better explain. Throwing vases of flowers at influential clients isn't good for business."

  Kate worried the strap of her bag, looked up at her boss, and met his eyes squarely. "Can I trust you?"

  "I should damn well hope so." His grim smile was not amused.

  "So do I." Kate hesitated and then confessed, "What you don't know, and Alex didn't tell you, is that I'm Sarah's mother."

  Dave stared at her, stunned. He opened his mouth, but no words ensued. He shook his head, staring at her. For the first time since she'd known him, he was speechless.

  Did he believe her?

  "Sarah Korda is your daughter?"

  "She is. Today is the first time I've seen her, since a few days after she was born."

  Dave stood and came around his desk, pulled up another
chair and sat beside her, catching her chilled hands in his. "Kate, I'm sorry, I didn't know."

  "How could you know? It's along tangled tale." She gave a weary shrug. "If Nicolaides is to be believed my presence here was just as nasty a shock to Alex, as his was to me."